On Being Self Conscious

March 30, 2017

Easy Spring Style I wit & whimsy I Meghan Donovan

So I was planning on writing something different to accompany today’s post but as I was going through the reader survey replies I was struck by something.

Many of you guys included commentary around how you appreciated that I was “real,” “honest,” “genuine,” and “relatable.”

It gave my heart such happiness! So first and foremost, thank you. Secondly, it got me to thinking about how scared I have been for the majority of my blogging career of what other people think about me. I’ve had many years of constant fear of how I’m judged for what I wear/post/write/say.

Easy Spring Style I wit & whimsy I Meghan Donovan

In thinking on it, what I’ve resolved is that I think last year when I decided to change my career, I became so much happier and as a result other things started falling into place. I think (and hope!) this happiness has been radiating through my posts and social channels. I think when I cut out a lot of negativity in my life I just stopped being so worried about how I was being perceived.

You see I’ve had my fair share of being ridiculed for doing what I do with this blog. A guy I knew from college once said to me a few years after we graduated, “Dono, who are you even writing for? Don’t you feel stupid putting all these posts up?” I cried.

…I’ve had so-called friends of mine send screenshots of my Instagrams to other people making fun of them thinking I wouldn’t find out.

…I’ve been talked shit about by people I know and by people I’ve never even met.

…I’ve compared myself to other bloggers who seemingly have more success and let it make me feel so lackluster and unworthy.

…I’ve overthought Instagram captions and photos of myself and every word I write a lot in the past.

…I’ve overanalyzed what I’m saying in conversations because I was so worried what people might think about the real me.

Easy Spring Style I wit & whimsy I Meghan Donovan

The self-consciousness was crippling at times. Particularly as I battled things like weight gain, health issues, anxiety and just being unhappy in my past job.

But in the past few months, before hitting “publish,” instead of asking myself what people might judge in this post or that post, I have been asking myself “Is this something I’d want to see? Is this something I’d want to read about? Am I giving value to my readers with this post? Does this sound like me? Does this serve a purpose?” I’ve been trying to be more open, honest and, truthfully, I’ve been trying to have my personality and thoughts and values come through more clearly.

It can be a tricky process. I want certain aspects of my life to remain private and I want time spent with friends and family to be (largely) spent off of social media. I want to be present in all the opportunities I’m granted and I want to be cognizant of the fact that things live forever online.

Easy Spring Style I wit & whimsy I Meghan Donovan

But that being said, I’m realizing I can still talk about my point of view. (This was a real eye opening moment for recognizing that.) And even better it seems like what I’ve been doing recently by talking more openly and honestly is resonating with you guys and I am beyond happy to hear that.

Life is too short to constantly be worried about what others think. It’s exhausting! My life is nowhere near picture perfect and I hope to show you more of that in the coming months here on this blog, on Snapchat and elsewhere. I’m still a work in progress (always) but now I think am more aware that I’ve come a long way in letting myself be affected by what others may think.

Easy Spring Style I wit & whimsy I Meghan Donovan

And for those of you who have recognized this and said such lovely and heartwarming things in my reader surveythank you. Seeing those comments opened my eyes and sort of turned on this light in my brain that made me realize I had been doing things differently. Not purposefully but just because I’ve been living a life with more meaning and more fulfillment of late. The comments made me have this moment where I had to sort of sit down and be so grateful for the changes in my life I made last year that have led me to being so much happier. <3.

May we always remember it’s a lot less effort to be kind to others vs. judging one another. To lift one another up vs. tear each other down.

Shop the Post:

Top (love this similar one) // Topshop Jeans (wearing 30×30 – usually a 28 in denim) // Schutz Shoes (on sale & in white here) // Bag

p.s. my journey to wellness and 5 things you can do to make a difference.

[Bekka Palmer Photography]

26 comments on “On Being Self Conscious”

  1. Such mature, thoughtful and kind words from such a babe of a human. Keep the confidence high, Meghan. And know you’re inspiring so many of us out here in the interwebs.

    1. Aw thank you, LP!! I’m so lucky wit & whimsy brought so many creative, smart, hard-working and inspiring women into my life like yourself!!

  2. love getting to see you grow into the confident and beautiful and self assured boss lady, blogger, friend, and woman that you are. so proud of you and inspired by you!

  3. Wise words! I can totally relate to everything you said, and I love that you’ve been able to take a step back and change your approach. It’s hard to put your own opinion first and not compare yourself to others, especially in the fashion blogging world, but so important. Love that top too 🙂

    xx
    Sam

    1. Thank you for the kind words, Sam!! You’re right that everything is amplified when you’re in this fashion blogging world and we can all be our own worst critics! Keep up the great work on your blog & thank you so much for being a wit & whimsy reader xx

  4. Your happiness does shine through! Your life posts definitely resonate, especially the one about weight gain. I appreciate your willingness to be vulnerable and put yourself out there. It really is inspiring!

    1. Thank you so much, Caitlin!! Your words mean a lot to me. p.s. I love your Spring Bucket List! I’m planning to share mine next week! xx

  5. Sophie Kinsella’s new book, my not so perfect life speaks to how social media has influenced this. It’s really good.

  6. Love you Dono! I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again – your ambition and dedication to this blog makes me feel lazy. 🙂 I’m so proud of you!! Xo!

  7. Thanks for writing this post! Regardless of the industry we ladies work in, it’s always hard not to compare yourself, and even harder to stop thinking about how others might be perceiving you…especially when the “others” are other ladies. Thanks for sharing a sentiment so much at the forefront of our minds. Love your blog!

  8. Loved this post. I can’t imagine anyone doesn’t sometimes suffer from self consciousness… but it’s all about how we process the thoughts and react to them.

    You’re so right to think about whether you’d like to see the same post… it completely changes the way we see the world we put ourselves in someone else’s shoes like that.

    Thank you for sharing Meghan 🙂

    http://www.thislifeisbelle.com

  9. Omg Meghan I have experienced SO MUCH of the same. Next time we have drinks I will tell you horror stories about my ex’s friends making fun of it. Awful. Hugs. You are amazing and even more amazing for putting this out there.

    1. Too often people don’t realize how hurtful their words can be. I’m so sorry you’ve dealt with it, too but know how lucky I feel to have strong, resilient friends like you in my life!!

  10. Visiting via link from The Stripe….. I was curious based on her caption to see what you’d say, as I struggle with self-consciousness and insecurity. Love this. You have a new reader!

    1. Shari, I’m so glad you found the post and that you enjoyed it! Thank you for being a new reader and I look forward to connecting again soon! xx

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